staying the course

I realized that I have a lot in common with Patch Adams. He's a non-conformist and many people don't take him seriously. They think just because he's wacky, unorthodox, and attached to his patients, that he isn't fit to be a doctor. He didn't fit into their "box" of what a doctor is supposed to act like. And so they made life harder for him. In many ways, I've experienced such things myself.

I admire Patch because even when the rest of the world doubted him, he kept on believing in himself and his vision. He never compromised his principles and beliefs. I wonder how Patch did it, I mean, how he kept his faith.

I know I have a lot to offer the world. However, my ways, beliefs, and demeanor are not what most would consider "normal". A good thing about this is that I stand out, and I improve the status quo. The challenge though is that, many times, I've had to be the only one who believed in me because people around me couldn't see the potential (That is, until they actually see the results. Then they start believing). With this, some times, I feel alone.

At these times, I know I have to just allow myself to feel the loneliness. I know that this loneliness will be broken, usually by some sort of simple miracle. I get reminded that Christ believes in me. And the reminder is not usually a cerebral knowledge. It's usually something that touches my heart, like a kind gesture by someone, an inspiring passage, or a stupid out-of-this world (yet funny) accident.

Today is one of those lonely days. Coupled though with this depression, is also me looking forward. I just know that it's only a matter of time until God would surprise me yet again. So today, I feel a lonely anticipation. "Lonely anticipation" --- Now that's an interesting concept, isn't it?

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p.s. If it's going to be another accident, I really hope it won't hurt so much this time.

comings and goings

I’m home. Back to the place I wanted to leave in the first place.

I’ve spent the last few years, traveling all over, perhaps looking for somewhere to belong. There was no peace here, only anger, disappointment, and awful memories. I had no home to go back to, so I had no choice but to keep on moving.

Now I’m back, and this place is not the one I left. What happened to those I called my enemies? Why are they kind, and why do I like them now? Did something happen while I was gone? There is peace. I have all that I need. I am safe here.

A year since my return, and now I’m sure this is for real. Things change. People change. There is hope after all.

Now I want to leave again, but not for the same reason. Home is somewhere we must always leave, so that we may always come back to it. If I don’t leave, I will no longer be home. I will be a prisoner instead.