I recently said goodbye to something that had been a big part of my life for the past years --- my car "Mister Tidds".
As part of my assertion of independence from my parents, I returned stewardship of my 1991 Galant Super Saloon, plate number TDE 413 or Mister Tidds for short, to my Dad the other day. I've been driving that car since I was in 4th year high school. Now I found that it was time to let it go. And there is much to be said about freely giving up this amenity.
Admittedly, it did hurt to give up Mister Tidds and know that our relationship would never be the same again. Mister Tidds and I have been through a lot together. I took it for granted before but Mister Tidds had been there with me during many significant moments in my life. Relationships, work, friends --- my car was there in the background most of the time. I've laughed and cried in that car. Now I guess it's time to make memories elsewhere.
I don't regret my decision to let go of Mister Tidds though. I needed to give up Mister Tidds so I could move on to wherever the spirit takes me. The car bound me to Manila. More specifically, it bound me to my parents (and at the same time, my parents used it as a means to bind me). Since my parents and I don't see eye to eye about many of my life decisions, I think it's only right that I stop living off them.
I want to clarify though that I don't feel at a loss because of my decision. I feel great now, like I freed myself somehow. The feeling is kind of like the joy I felt when I was living alone in Mindanao. Back there, I didn't have much but I felt really alive. The best way I can put it is that I'm feeling less and less artificial now. My self seems clearer than before. (I'm hoping though that I don't turn out like Josh Harnett in 40 Days 40 Nights in the way that the first few days of abstinence from sex felt great and then the shit started to hit the fan. Well, come to think of it, he did still end up with the girl in the end so I guess I shouldn't worry... I wonder if girls would find me hotter now knowing that I voluntarily gave up my car for a greater cause. Hmmmmmm)
All in all, I can say that I will miss Mister Tidds. That car served me well and I'm thankful for having the chance to drive it and take care of it. I'm sure whomever my Dad decides to sell Miater Tidds to will have a good experience with the car as well. As for me, I've got my own journey in front of me. Mister Tidds, it was wonderful to have travelled with you, although now, I think it's time I started walking on my own.
