Conflict cannot be avoided as there will always be differences between people. Because we are all diverse as human beings, everyone (from individuals to races, religions, and nations) will not agree all the time in terms of beliefs, preferences, and opinions. Conflict will always be there. It is in how we handle conflict when it arises that makes the biggest difference.
In the case of the Philippines, we have become accustomed to seeing one way that conflict is addressed --- through coercion. It is a win-lose if not a lose-lose solution. It is basically a clash of power wherein the goal is to exert one’s will over the other. True dialogue becomes really difficult in this scenario as the parties involved are not open to listen and have a compromise with each other. With this, anger, resentment, and hate are bred because the other side’s needs have seemingly been disregarded. Sadly, both the Philippine government and the Filipino separatist groups are guilty of this. For so long now, this has been the main tool for addressing conflict, and it has not brought us far, if anywhere forward at all. I believe coercion does not really work in the long run as this just creates a vicious cycle of violence. This is where I see our country is right now, inside this vicious cycle. One side hurts the other, and the other hurts back. The bitter feelings are left unresolved so both sides continue to bring harm to one another.
In this light, I propose another path that can be taken, a path that ends this cycle of violence. This is Forgiveness. Simply put, it is saying “I recognize that this cycle only really hurts me. I now decide that this cycle stops with me. I let go of all anger, resentment, and hate.” It is such a simple answer yet, perhaps for all of us, it is probably the hardest thing to do. This is why forgiveness is a process. It takes time, especially if the emotional and physical wounds are deep and have been present for a long time. However, I believe this is the best way to go. Let us note that people who do not hold bitter feelings inside have no need for violence. Furthermore, it will only be after one has forgiven that tolerance and acceptance of each other can begin. Perhaps after this, both the insurgents and the government will see that they do not need to agree of even like each other for all of us to coexist. They would learn to forgive each other, firstly for hurting one another in the past, and secondly, for being different from one another. Forgiveness, thereby is the first crucial step in the healing of our country.
Given all that was said about forgiveness, what can we do now? The following are some points that we can consider about helping the parties with this process: Firstly, provide them a venue to air out their grievances with one another. Help them voice out and release (in a nonviolent way) a lot of the pent-up emotions they hold inside Also, give them opportunities (such as workshops and seminars) to look into themselves and recognize the negative perceptions they have about themselves. I wager that most of the violent behavior they exhibit to others are results of their anger towards themselves. When they have identified their own negativities that is when we can show them the importance of forgiveness and assist them with the process. I know that this may sound like a tedious and seemingly large effort, but we do not need to start big. We can begin from a small group then work our way from there. Yes, this will take time, but this way can last because we slowly but surely change how people think. Slowly but surely we create a culture that forgives, and a forgiving culture is a culture of peace.
I said a while ago that conflict will always be there, but I want to add something else to that thought. Conflicts will always arise, but these do not need to last. Differences will always be there, but we can choose to forgive each other’s differences Forgiveness lets us be free to see what we all have in common --- we all want a life of love and peace. The cycle can end now. So what are we waiting for?
